can u get pink eye on your cock?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
