seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
