You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Are these your boobs on my camera?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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