we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I have tasted many bathrooms
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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