So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
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