i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
