I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
