I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
That accounts for only three of the penises
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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