I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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