Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
