the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
These tits shall not be calmed
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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