After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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