You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
