I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
