he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
