he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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