The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
