Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
