like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Randomize
