so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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