i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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