Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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