Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
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I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
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Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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