It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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