he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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