Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
