Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
