i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
