I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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