I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
