i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
