First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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