I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
