I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
