My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I met the friendliest cop last night
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Randomize