Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
