So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
