Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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