no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
