I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize