Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
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Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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