you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I will pee on everything he values.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
