i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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