Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
