just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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