shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
