You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
