oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
