From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
