and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize