this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
