dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
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Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
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Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
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You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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