if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
