hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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