And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
