there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I don't think brook has ever known best
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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