My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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