so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
