Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
